Superpig!

Homer Simpson was close. Spiderpig was a revelation. Superpig is a pandemic. The flying swine is taking its toll and the nation's going berserk. Yet, on hindsight, what did swine flu actually do? Well, then there was boot-cut denims. Later came low-raise pants and slogan T-shirts. Now it's swine flu masks. It's the new fashion statement out there and it's catching up on people regardless of age.

Trust me, the aristocrat who sported a mask at noon and scorned at every coughing bystander at his workplace, shoves the mask on his convertible's dashboard and guffaws over the waitresses' lame humor as his scotch gathers dust. So, swine flu is cordoned off in fancy hotels is it? Swine flu isn't unemployment or poverty to shy away from the wealthy masses and the money-minting messiahs. This is a pandemic for Christ's sake and the kind of approach our nation is providing, only breathes new life in the hearts of stand-up comedians.

The media gives Swine Flu so much coverage that if God forbid, suddenly our country's premier passes away, we'd be informed a week after. Humans are paranoid and Indians are embodiments of the phenomenon. All that was required for them to knock the panic button was a scare. Boy, didn't the media give 'em one! Swine flu is just normal flu. Fine, pig flu. The symptoms are a little severe, but the deaths on average are one per a hundred thousand. The frequency of people dying out of road accidents is a fifteen percent larger amount. So will the entire nation begin to walk? Frankly, it would be a boon to obesity.

Swine flu should be handled delicately. People should be educated about its cause and effects. The swine flu masks should be worn with a motive, and definitely not because the girl next door smiles at you. She might be frowning under her mask for all you know. Administration of Tamiflu should be monitored. The nation needs a check, both financial and moral versions of it. Maybe if we did handle it that way, we might survive. God save me. For as long as there's something called Karma and someone called Murphy, it might always come right around to hit me and I should go hunt for my mask. Sigh.